I’m going to go on a small little rant here to prefix my little rant of a video below. A lot has happened in my life over the last year and I feel like sometimes you just have to tell your story because you never know who else may be in a similar situation. This “prefix” is going to explain how it all came to a head for me…
In the year I’ve been vegan, I’ve had my ups and downs. Lots of them. I’ve fallen off the wagon more times than I care to admit, gotten upset or depressed about my weight or some personal event that’s caused me to make a trip to Taco Bell that I didn’t need, gotten frustrated or lazy and wasn’t nearly conscious enough about what I was eating, vegan or not.
One of the things people don’t realize when you tell non-vegans that you’re vegan is that just because you’re vegan, doesn’t mean you’re healthy. Of course I had to learn this the hard way, because that’s just how I roll. I can’t tell you how many times I got the comments on what kind of “grass” or “bark” I was eating for lunch that day at work, or how everything is made of soy. Yes, there are a lot of products that are soy based, especially higher protein items like veggie burgers, tempeh, etc. But you really think I’m eating tree bark? Don’t be a douche. But a lot of these foods that can still be considered vegan are just as bad as those little frozen dinners or desserts; full of sugar, salt, simple carbs and unnecessary ingredients. Yea, it’s great that you’ve cut out animal products, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s helping you. I ended up cutting a lot of that stuff out of my diet or making my own versions of it where I knew everything that was in it.
I still get comments, but people have become a lot more accepting of the foods I bring in because I stopped letting it affect me. Why should it? You can eat whatever you want and I’ll eat my “bark and grass” at my desk. Then when you feel overstuffed, tired, and gassy after you eat while I’m running circles around you, karma can come bite you in the ass for making fun of my food, though I’m sure you won’t make the connection. The ones who accept it, are genuinely interested and push me to keep doing what I’m doing: thank you. Thank you for having an open mind and not feeling the need to bring others down on the regular; I wish there were ten more like you.
Something I’ve never talked about on here and wish I didn’t need to ever mention was a breakup I went through a few months ago. Of the relationships I’ve had, this might have ended the ugliest. I still feel like I handled it with more composure than he deserved and I refused to bring myself to his level (though I may have slipped once for like 3.2 seconds) of hate, immaturity, and anger. It got bad enough that I had to file a police report against him just to get him to leave me alone. Because at that point I didn’t know how much longer it would have continued or how far he would have gone if I hadn’t decided I didn’t want to become a statistic and finally filed it.
While most of his words were untrue and just unnecessary, some of them opened my eyes a little to the fact that I was NOT where I wanted to be in my life at 28. It didn’t help that my 10 year reunion was coming up and I had zero desire to go for many reasons, one of them being that I felt like I had nothing to show for myself. Yea, okay fine, I own a house, make good money, blah blah blah. But I’m not where I want to be with my health, my weight, my career, and as you can tell, my love life was in shambles. It’s all something to make a girl think. I wasn’t HAPPY… with any of it, no matter how much I tried to concentrate on what I had and SHOULD have been happy and grateful for (which I am), but it just wasn’t enough. And it took me a while to realize that that doesn’t make me a bad person. That just makes me a GOOD person because I realized I still have work to do on myself and I was willing to accept it.
But that in itself wasn’t enough either. I couldn’t just accept it, I had to DO something about it. I had to turn off that doubtful part of my brain, get over myself and pay attention to the fact that nothing I was doing was working and I had to change it if I wanted to go anywhere. It’s one of those situations where you almost have to get to your own personal rock bottom, wherever that may be, to realize NO ONE else is in control of your life and if you want to change yourself, YOU have to do it or it’s never going to happen.
I woke up to the fact that BECAUSE it’s scary only means it’s going to be that much more worth it in the end.
Fast forward to July. This is when I signed up for my first Beachbody program, the 21 Day Fix, as well as signed up to be a coach (hey, kill two birds with one stone). At first I just wanted to try it out, see what it was all about, get a nice discount on stuff I would be using anyway. What I didn’t realize I was getting was the motivation that came from the people in my group to push me to keep going every day and the possibilities it could open up if I truly wanted it.
In the midst of all this self discovery, I reconnected with someone I cared deeply about that I had let go from my life a couple years ago. I couldn’t give you a reasonable explanation of why I let them go in the first place other than that I was naive and lost, but I can tell you I regretted it for a long time. Why did I reconnect with this person? Because I remembered how much of a positive influence they had on my life and how they always made me want to be a better person. And I needed as many of those people in my life as possible. This was the final puzzle piece that I needed to push myself further than I’ve gone before. Small as it may have been, it was significant in my eyes and a step forward in the direction I wanted to go.
So now that I’ve bored you to death with the short story of my crazy life over the last year, hopefully you’ll stick around long enough to hear the long term reasons I decided to do this and where all of the above originally stemmed from. I made this video last week when I was in Phoenix, AZ and, should you decide to watch it, you’ll find out why that tidbit of information is significant.
By the way, I’d love to hear any comments, suggestions, life tips, questions… whatever you got, hit me! firstname.lastname@example.org or just comment below.